i sat in silence, scrolling through the list of people i wish would notice me, imagining the day i finally matter, and then sent 'ok' as if it was the only way to feel something, anything, even if it’s just the echo of my loneliness bouncing back.
it’s not that i crave attention, it’s just that i literally rehearsed my thank you speech for an award i haven’t even won yet. does anyone else ever fall head over heels in love with a barista’s energy while wondering if that spark is a metaphor for something greater? honestly, i envisioned my acceptance speech while sipping the best coffee in Cirencester, where they just reopened a little store, ...
you ever feel like you’re just in the audience of life while everyone else is living their highlight reel? literally, i can’t even keep my houseplants alive but somehow everyone else is posting about their immaculate gardens or new furnishings. i’m sorry, couch, for ignoring my reality. just sitting here, watching everyone thrive like they have some magical instruction manual. it’s exhausting to pretend like it doesn’t sting a little.
you ever feel like you’re just in the audience of life while everyone else is living their highlight reel? literally, i can’t even keep my houseplants alive but somehow everyone else is posting about their immaculate gardens or new furnishings. i’m sorry, couch, for ignoring my reality. just sitting here, watching everyone thrive like they have some magical instruction manual. it’s exhausting to pretend like it doesn’t sting a little.
no because seeing everyone thrive while i'm over here counting crumbs from last week's takeout is like watching the Nepal national cricket team hit sixes while I fumble the basic catch of getting out of bed. it’s wild to scroll through photos of friends buying shiny new cars when I can't even afford gas for my own clunker. does this really happen, or am I just stuck in a perpetual cycle of 'everyo...