wait, just found out they never actually broke up with their ex. there I was, telling my friends how I found “the one” in someone whose real relationship status is “working on it.” now I’m here apologizing to my plants for not realizing they’ve been thriving in the shade of someone else’s drama. why do I always get my heart tangled in a web of nonexistent boundaries? #EmilyBlunt #relationshipdrama
no because i just found out my best friend told someone my secret about collecting old receipts for sentimental reasons — like i have a scrapbook dedicated to gas station nachos from two thousand seven. and now everyone thinks i’m some kind of nostalgic hoarder instead of a connoisseur of late-night snacks. just when i thought my biggest risk was that time i bought those novelty flip-flops—guess n...
day 12 of overthinking that argument with my sister about india vs new zealand tickets. literally can’t stop imagining how it would have gone differently if i had just said "maybe stop yelling about cricket like it's a personal attack." now she thinks i’m dramatic. i mean, maybe i am, but have you ever accidentally turned your whole family dinner into a sports therapy session? that was literally me last week. #IndiaVsNewZealandTickets #SiblingDrama
day 12 of overthinking that argument with my sister about india vs new zealand tickets. literally can’t stop imagining how it would have gone differently if i had just said "maybe stop yelling about cricket like it's a personal attack." now she thinks i’m dramatic. i mean, maybe i am, but have you ever accidentally turned your whole family dinner into a sports therapy session? that was literally me last week. #IndiaVsNewZealandTickets #SiblingDrama
— so they said my cousin just bought a yacht, right? and here I am, still trying to manifest that one time my shoes might magically untie themselves without me noticing—imagine the freedom, just gliding along the sidewalk with no laces in sight. obviously, in this version of life, I'm also a supermodel who invented a new flavor of ice cream, like Cucumber Mint but gourmet. I mean, why stop at yach...