last night, I was mindlessly scrolling through random news and stumbled upon the food fight on the southwest flight. suddenly, I got a flashback to the last time I threw a tantrum in public, but it was about a vending machine eating my coins. it was literally so embarrassing that I couldn’t even look at anyone afterwards. honestly, now I have to reassess my entire life because I’ve clearly never e...
wait, so I found out the new hire I trained is making more than I do. like, why does he look like he just walked off a resort while I'm still waiting for my turn to board that chaotic flight with a food fight happening next to me? honestly, is it too late to manifest my own upgrade? just me, crying on the plane over injustices that involve flirty husbands and the guy I thought was going to elevate...
just had my parents show up unannounced and they caught me mid-painting my toenails bright neon green while listening to a two hour mix of elevator music. i panicked, shoved the polish under the couch and started apologizing to the carpet for, you know, making it suffer through my life choices. they were like, “are you okay?” and i almost said, “do you mean spiritually or in regard to my living conditions?” before just nodding. honestly, my feet are a masterpiece and now the couch is never gonna let me live this down.
just had my parents show up unannounced and they caught me mid-painting my toenails bright neon green while listening to a two hour mix of elevator music. i panicked, shoved the polish under the couch and started apologizing to the carpet for, you know, making it suffer through my life choices. they were like, “are you okay?” and i almost said, “do you mean spiritually or in regard to my living conditions?” before just nodding. honestly, my feet are a masterpiece and now the couch is never gonna let me live this down.
yooo, remember when i thought thirty was old? fast forward, and i’m panicking over the fact that my plant collection has more stability than my life right now. every time i walk past my succulents, i ask them if they want to do an adulting workshop. they don’t respond, which is making me question my social skills and life choices all at once.