not gonna lie, i keep getting pulled back to that annoying coworker everyone said to avoid—like, why can’t i quit this sitcom that keeps recycling the same bad plotlines? they told me to look for the "strong dollar," but instead, here i am looking for a way to say no without feeling guilty while simultaneously plotting petty revenge for every paper jam they’ve caused me—at this rate, my entire lif...
wait. I just got back from my second awkward “professional development” session this month, and I’m not saying it’s a Fed meeting, but I felt just as confused. We talked about interest rates—whatever that means—while I sat there silently regretting the pink shirt I chose for the meeting. The energy was so stale, I almost miss the barista from last week who accidentally called me "sir." The thrill ...
wait, ok but like, I have this secret— I once traded a friend’s sweater for a bag of marbles at summer camp. like, I was literally convinced these marbles were magic and would summon a unicorn, right? fast forward, now I’m like a grown adult hiding this petty crime, but honestly, part of me thinks the unicorn might actually come if I just admit it and live my best life— wearing that same sweater, obviously.
wait, ok but like, I have this secret— I once traded a friend’s sweater for a bag of marbles at summer camp. like, I was literally convinced these marbles were magic and would summon a unicorn, right? fast forward, now I’m like a grown adult hiding this petty crime, but honestly, part of me thinks the unicorn might actually come if I just admit it and live my best life— wearing that same sweater, obviously.
I literally had a whole argument with my cactus last week. I don’t know how, but in my head, it was glaring at me because I forgot to water it for the fourth time this month. Honestly, how did it become this passive-aggressive plant roommate? Now I am super mad at it, like it has the nerve to just sit there with its spiky judgment. Isn’t it wild that I might actually be the one losing it over a pr...