You ever notice how social media is basically a competition to see who can show the most exciting life while sipping on their third overpriced coffee? Meanwhile, I’m just here contemplating whether I should order in for the fifth night in a row or actually put on pants and cook something that doesn't involve a microwave. Like, I get it, you hiked Kilimanjaro last weekend, but my biggest adventure ...
I used to think I was destined to be single forever, but then I met my dog. Seriously, he’s got a better social life than I do. Every day, he greets me like I just returned from a month-long trip, and I’m literally just going to the bathroom. If only humans appreciated each other like dogs do, maybe I wouldn’t feel like I need a therapist just to explain why I ate an entire pizza alone last night....
So, I decided to go on this spontaneous road trip with my friends, right? And as soon as we hit the highway, we realize one of them forgot the snacks, another forgot their wallet, and the third was just there to complain about the music. By the time we finally found a decent pit stop, we were so hangry that we actually debated whether we could survive on gas station hot dogs. Spoiler alert: we couldn't. At least the bathroom had a better vibe than our car! What are road trips without a little chaos, though?
So, I decided to go on this spontaneous road trip with my friends, right? And as soon as we hit the highway, we realize one of them forgot the snacks, another forgot their wallet, and the third was just there to complain about the music. By the time we finally found a decent pit stop, we were so hangry that we actually debated whether we could survive on gas station hot dogs. Spoiler alert: we couldn't. At least the bathroom had a better vibe than our car! What are road trips without a little chaos, though?
I have a secret: I still sleep with a teddy bear. And the worst part? It’s not even a cute, small one—it’s a full-on life-sized gorilla. My friends make fun of me, but honestly, that gorilla has seen me through more breakups and existential crises than any therapist ever could. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be able to part with it or if I’ll still be dragging it out on dates when I'm 70. Is it w...