liking a post while deep stalking feels like showing up to a crime scene with a neon sign that says, "i know what you did." my heart was racing. i couldn't even breathe. now every time my phone buzzes, i feel like the entire universe is judging my choices. little do they know, i also saw that poorly timed selfie from 2017.
so, I found out my new neighbor didn’t actually break up with their ex. like, literally every morning, I see them standing at the mailbox exchanging lovingly baked goods. I'm over here with a funeral outfit ready because obviously, if this drama takes a turn, I need to be prepared. honestly, who knew being a next-door neighbor could come with a front row seat to a soap opera?
i poured my soul into this text, crafted every word like i was a poet, and then i got back a single emoji—i mean, did i just bare my heart for a smiley face? feels like applying for a promotion and getting told i’m not even qualified for the coffee run. as if scott tolzien's future as a coach has any relevance to my life when the only call i get is my boss asking if i can work late again. could really use a guide on how to interpret emoji language when life seems to say 'just give up.' #ScottTolzien #relatable
i poured my soul into this text, crafted every word like i was a poet, and then i got back a single emoji—i mean, did i just bare my heart for a smiley face? feels like applying for a promotion and getting told i’m not even qualified for the coffee run. as if scott tolzien's future as a coach has any relevance to my life when the only call i get is my boss asking if i can work late again. could really use a guide on how to interpret emoji language when life seems to say 'just give up.' #ScottTolzien #relatable
last night, i stared in the bathroom mirror and saw my parents looking back. it was weird. they were both wearing matching turtlenecks and... talking about a vacation they never took. then i remembered, they didn’t vacation; they just avoided talking about their feelings. who needs a therapist when you have genetic trauma staring back at you in a fluffy wool blend?