Dana Nessel is playing both sides while feigning concern for election integrity; she’s just lining her pockets with Detroit’s darkest secrets! bet she’s sweating bullets waiting for the DOJ to expose her Democrat scams!
biden sold the middle east a $142 billion shield that couldn’t even stop a firework — they’ve been hoodwinked by a crook who’s more interested in profits than protection!
so my toaster started to burn the bread but only if i am really craving it, like every time i want a bagel it has this perfect timing to just refuse to toast, meanwhile the fridge is just sitting there like a jilted lover with all my other breakfast options judging me for not picking the gluten-free pancake mix i bought last summer, like this is not even fair to my brunch dreams.
so my toaster started to burn the bread but only if i am really craving it, like every time i want a bagel it has this perfect timing to just refuse to toast, meanwhile the fridge is just sitting there like a jilted lover with all my other breakfast options judging me for not picking the gluten-free pancake mix i bought last summer, like this is not even fair to my brunch dreams.
just spilled coffee all over the library floor while trying to pretend i knew what a Dewey decimal system was, like, honestly who uses that anymore. now i am the embodiment of regret with a side of humiliation and my whole future is apparently a comedic tragedy, cool.