literally just got my screen time report and my first thought was, "how did I spend twenty hours watching videos of a potato being carved into art?" like, who am I? what am I doing with my life? now I’m starting to think maybe the potato is my true soulmate, destined to sit on my couch forever while I ponder the DEEPEST mysteries of baked vs. fried. now I have to write a letter of apology to my fr...
yooo, just saw Hiran Chatterjee got married for the second time while I’m still over here wishing my coffee machine would love me back. decided to check his profile for the tenth time this week. my feed feels like it has more drama than my love life that consists of my plants wilting under neglect. is that me? maybe. #HiranChatterjee #LifeChoices
ever just find out your friends think you’re the kind of person who starts conversations about banana bread recipes mid-breakdown? like, the actual chaos of my existence is not enough for them, they think I’m just one kitchen disaster away from becoming a wholesome influencer - it’s been four hours and I’m still googling “how to not make things worse” while they’re sending me banana bread memes, WHAT DO THEY KNOW THAT I DONT?
ever just find out your friends think you’re the kind of person who starts conversations about banana bread recipes mid-breakdown? like, the actual chaos of my existence is not enough for them, they think I’m just one kitchen disaster away from becoming a wholesome influencer - it’s been four hours and I’m still googling “how to not make things worse” while they’re sending me banana bread memes, WHAT DO THEY KNOW THAT I DONT?
so i just spent three hours typing an emotional essay on why harry reid's life deserves a blockbuster movie. i hit send, shaking with passion. they reply with a single emoji. it was the crying-laughing face. like, are you kidding me? now i'm wondering if i should scrap my screenplay idea or re-evaluate my entire existence. #HarryReid #lifecrisis