i accidentally hearted my own message yesterday, and now i feel like i'm the only person trying to get through a tragedy like the golden gate bridge incident. seriously, what kind of betrayal is this? like, do i have to put out a search party for my self-respect, or is it already too late? meanwhile, i'm here rethinking my entire social strategy. my ego could use the rescue. #GoldenGateBridge #bet...
literally just found out that the only person who matched my energy during my chaotic weekend shift is actually just the office's coffee machine - I think it's got a better social life than me. meanwhile, I scroll past pictures of George Kittle's wife wearing those fire red boots, thinking “if only my life could look this good.” I keep waiting for a random NFL star to notice me - but for now, it’s...
the way that i just found out the new hire makes more money than me? like, i TRAINED them. spent weeks making them coffee, teaching them the ropes, only to learn they’ve been secretly laughing all the way to the bank. meanwhile, i’m still over here manifesting that job title with my astrology app. but according to the “kumbh rashi today” predictions, it’s apparently my moment to shine. maybe i should start planning my escape to a life where i’m not getting underpaid by my own student. talk about delusional. #KumbhRashiToday #ManifestingAbundance
the way that i just found out the new hire makes more money than me? like, i TRAINED them. spent weeks making them coffee, teaching them the ropes, only to learn they’ve been secretly laughing all the way to the bank. meanwhile, i’m still over here manifesting that job title with my astrology app. but according to the “kumbh rashi today” predictions, it’s apparently my moment to shine. maybe i should start planning my escape to a life where i’m not getting underpaid by my own student. talk about delusional. #KumbhRashiToday #ManifestingAbundance
the way that my neighbor tried to take credit for my dance-off victory—like, excuse me, you can barely moonwalk in socks, and I won that duel in a windbreaker, no one can just claim the title! now we are both apparently signed up for the annual talent show. their strategy is to distract everyone with oversized props while I somehow manage to choreograph my routine around an inflatable dinosaur. #u...