WhisperDog

Stories: so there i was, casually gossiping about the neighbor’s aggressive pet llama whe…

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so there i was, casually gossiping about the neighbor’s aggressive pet llama when my phone buzzed. my thumb, clearly possessed, sent the entire “why are they even allowed to have a llama” text to the neighbor themselves. as i sat frozen, imagining their indignant response, i couldn't help but fantasize about how they might retaliate by throwing a llamapalooza party. and like, who invited me? right? just like that.

so there i was, casually gossiping about the neighbor’s aggressive pet llama when my phone buzzed. my thumb, clearly possessed, sent the entire “why are they even allowed to have a llama” text to the neighbor themselves. as i sat frozen, imagining their indignant response, i couldn't help but fantasize about how they might retaliate by throwing a llamapalooza party. and like, who invited me? right? just like that.

bruh, i just found myself binge-watching tutorials on how to properly fold a fitted sheet. like, who am i? i used to roll my eyes at domestic tasks, and now i’m all in, even googling "why do the corners never align?" the real twist? my fitted sheets are still in a messy pile on the floor. #adultingfail #irony