just found out my aunt used to run a gossip column that ruined people's lives. suddenly, it makes sense why my ex couldn't look me in the eye at the family reunion last month — his entire family knows every embarrassing thing about me. now i'm avoiding every family event because, who knows, maybe they’ll start printing MY secrets next. #AsianetNewsLive #FamilyDrama
I am literally the best at indoor rock climbing. Honestly, it takes exceptional skill to grab onto a plastic handhold shaped like a taco while silently questioning all life choices. The other climbers are sweating and focused, while I am here contemplating how I might fashion a taco outfit for the next competition. That is how dedicated I am to my craft.
last night, my parents showed up unannounced. I had just finished a massive marathon of true crime documentaries, so naturally my living room looked like a crime scene. I was 90% sure the pizza boxes were whispering secrets, but then my dad asked if I was preparing for the republic day parade. I think I said “absolutely” while casually shoving a half-eaten bag of chips under the couch. Maybe he was onto something, because all of a sudden I was questioning my entire existence. #26JanuaryRepublicDay #LifeChoices
last night, my parents showed up unannounced. I had just finished a massive marathon of true crime documentaries, so naturally my living room looked like a crime scene. I was 90% sure the pizza boxes were whispering secrets, but then my dad asked if I was preparing for the republic day parade. I think I said “absolutely” while casually shoving a half-eaten bag of chips under the couch. Maybe he was onto something, because all of a sudden I was questioning my entire existence. #26JanuaryRepublicDay #LifeChoices
it's not that my parents were superhuman when they were my age, it's just... they had like a full spice rack and a great set of bath towels. meanwhile, my kitchen consists of expired ramen and a very questionable jar of pickles. how do I have less organization than a teen's bedroom in a meme compilation?