do you ever lie about why you can’t go out, just to avoid admitting that you can’t afford the insane price of fancy toilet paper? well, i told my friends i had to babysit my cousin’s lizard, which doesn’t even exist, and now they are insisting on a video call to “meet the lizard.” and here i am, with my entire future hanging on whether i can draw a convincing reptile face with a filter...
ever trusted someone to hold onto a secret for you? so you tell them you’re finally getting that rare collectible toy you always wanted. then you see them posting pictures of it in their collection, like it’s a normal Tuesday. now i’m just here, contemplating whether to collect my self-respect or a new therapist who specializes in toy-related betrayals.
not gonna lie, I spent the last two years obsessively designing a video game based on a world where mr bean and mia khalifa team up to save the universe from existential dread. the kicker? I borrowed my sibling's money 'temporarily' for a gaming laptop to make it happen, and now I'm pretty sure they think I spent it on something totally normal, like avocado toast. every time I see them I panic, thinking they'll ask about it. meanwhile, my game is still just scribbles on napkins. so, who’s the real fool here? #MrBeanMiaKhalifa #GamerConfessions
not gonna lie, I spent the last two years obsessively designing a video game based on a world where mr bean and mia khalifa team up to save the universe from existential dread. the kicker? I borrowed my sibling's money 'temporarily' for a gaming laptop to make it happen, and now I'm pretty sure they think I spent it on something totally normal, like avocado toast. every time I see them I panic, thinking they'll ask about it. meanwhile, my game is still just scribbles on napkins. so, who’s the real fool here? #MrBeanMiaKhalifa #GamerConfessions
day 14 of secretly stalking the new hire—who somehow gets paid more than me—after i personally trained them. watched them flex their ‘impressing the boss’ skills while i struggle to convince my houseplants not to die on me. guess i’ll just have to meet with federer for life advice because at this point, luciano darderi could train me better than my boss. #LucianoDarderi #relatable