not gonna lie, I just accidentally voice-texted my intrusive thoughts about how I could totally take down Cody Rhodes in a wrestling ring. like, picture this, me, a socially awkward accountant, rolling up in my office chair like it’s my wrestling entrance, thinking maybe that would help me tackle my tax deadlines. then I paused, realizing I also texted how I secretly believe Drew McIntyre would fa...
bruh, just remembered I was supposed to finish that sixty-page book report on a fictional book about a guy who invents a self-aware toaster. I mean, WHO even needs that information in their life? now I’m stuck trying to write a thousand-word essay about bread and existential crises while the toaster sits in my mind like, "why didn’t you believe in me?" #LiteraryFails #ProcrastinationStation
the way that i just started building a tiny home for my 37 cacti like i am literally a plant mom. i have no kids, no partner, just me and a bunch of spiky greens with names. last night i found myself arguing with a friend about which cactus would be best at keeping secrets. turns out i am that person who plans their future around houseplants, and they are definitely judging me from their perfect little pots.
the way that i just started building a tiny home for my 37 cacti like i am literally a plant mom. i have no kids, no partner, just me and a bunch of spiky greens with names. last night i found myself arguing with a friend about which cactus would be best at keeping secrets. turns out i am that person who plans their future around houseplants, and they are definitely judging me from their perfect little pots.
i just found out about that lifeismizzy drama. thought i’d finally take my chance and call out my neighbor for always blasting music at 2am. waited until i felt like it was the right moment, and then today i saw them literally taking out the trash. my heart dropped. the perfect opportunity and i just stood there pretending to look at my phone, while manifesting them being a good neighbor. now im c...