So I just typed out this heartfelt manifesto about the importance of synchronized swimming in modern culture. I poured my soul into every sentence. Their reply? A single eye emoji. I’m literally just staring at my screen like, do they even know the emotional investment I made? Now I’m contemplating adopting a synchronized swimming routine with my barista. I’m thinking that maybe a cappuccino-theme...
it's not that i’m obsessively checking social media again. it's just that i feel a weird connection to this whole "levante - elche c. f." hype. like, last week, i pretended to know a ton about football for five minutes and told my coworkers it was “so passionate.” now here i am, second guessing if my grocery list is as exciting as this sports news. should i get avocados or go wild and pick mangoes...
my best friend just told someone my secret about how i secretly train squirrels to steal snacks from my neighbors. now i'm envisioning an entire RODENT ARMY, planning our conquest for the best chips in the park. at this point, it’s only a matter of time before they form a union and demand tiny nut pensions. can’t wait to get interrogated by a gang of chipmunk lawyers!
my best friend just told someone my secret about how i secretly train squirrels to steal snacks from my neighbors. now i'm envisioning an entire RODENT ARMY, planning our conquest for the best chips in the park. at this point, it’s only a matter of time before they form a union and demand tiny nut pensions. can’t wait to get interrogated by a gang of chipmunk lawyers!
last night, i noticed my 'best friend' only texts me when they need to borrow my *expensive* color pencils for their weird adult coloring book. i’m literally over here curating playlists that scream "we will never talk again," while they think they can just slide into my messages like it's nothing. guess who just had a long sit down with their colorful collection about personal boundaries? yeah, i...