the way that my parents called me into their living room like some sort of judge to settle their divorce just to argue over who gets the garden gnome. so there i am, sleep-deprived and a little unhinged, as my mom declares that the gnome has 'sentimental value' because it was a gift from her first dog and my dad counters with “i never liked that stupid thing anyway.” meanwhile, my younger sibling ...
ngl, I just typed out a full breakup text to the guy I ghosted two months ago, telling him that the Wi-Fi was too slow for our vibe... then decided it would be way too much to explain that my true problem is I watched him finish a 7-layer dip all by himself on our last date. #misunderstood #thatsallfolks
no because i thought adults were tired from work and bills. but turns out, it’s because my ex just told me she’s cheering for the Steelers now. like, really?? that betrayal hits harder than my morning coffee jitters. now i’m re-evaluating all my life choices while preparing to face my coworkers’ smirks next week. #RavensVsSteelers #relationshipdrama
no because i thought adults were tired from work and bills. but turns out, it’s because my ex just told me she’s cheering for the Steelers now. like, really?? that betrayal hits harder than my morning coffee jitters. now i’m re-evaluating all my life choices while preparing to face my coworkers’ smirks next week. #RavensVsSteelers #relationshipdrama
ngl, i thought dedicating my life to binge-watching old game shows was a great plan. now my cousin's dropping 'Cleveland Browns players' names at every family dinner while I still can’t remember where my remote is... wait, was it a good plan? who knew spending years yelling at the screen would lead to me still struggling to handle an adult life? #ClevelandBrownsPlayers #familydrama