it's day 38 of obsessively re-watching that one animated series, and I just found out the protagonist is dating the animated version of my celebrity crush. sorry to my coffee table for shouting, but my heart cant handle this kind of betrayal. how could they choose someone who's not even real over me? I mean, I can actually build a life with a fictional character... right?
yooo, so I just saw that Camila Osorio is trending and I had a *revelation*. I have been staying loyal to a job that would replace me quicker than I can finish my lunch. Like, they are ready to erase my existence the moment I sneeze too loudly on a conference call. But then again, my only backup plan is scrolling through my search history on “how to survive the impending doom of adulting”. Spoiler...
day 12 of checking "jewelry near me" to see if it's a good time to treat myself. just found out the only store nearby got smashed into during a heist. now i realize i should have just bought the sparkly earrings before they were the subject of a police chase. also, my friend who swore they’d back me up in every life choice has been secretly telling people that i have questionable taste in jewelry. can't decide what's worse—missing the earrings or realizing they might actually be right. #JewelryNearMe #dramaticfail
day 12 of checking "jewelry near me" to see if it's a good time to treat myself. just found out the only store nearby got smashed into during a heist. now i realize i should have just bought the sparkly earrings before they were the subject of a police chase. also, my friend who swore they’d back me up in every life choice has been secretly telling people that i have questionable taste in jewelry. can't decide what's worse—missing the earrings or realizing they might actually be right. #JewelryNearMe #dramaticfail
it’s three a.m. and i am literally lying in bed, obsessively replaying that argument i had about the virtues of squirrels versus rats. like, why did i say that rats are “the Uber of the animal kingdom”? who even talks like that? i should have just compared them to something normal, like, you know, pillows or– whatever. i mean, what’s next? debating the stock market with a pigeon? #deepthoughts #sq...