i just unsent a message to my crush—trying to play it cool—but then i saw they were active and, oh my god, they totally SAW it. now, i'm feeling like Yaxel Lendeborg after a bad injury comeback; it's explosive anxiety but instead of basketball, it's my life that's slipping through my fingers like bad timing in a one-on-one. i didn't know my heart could race like this—every notification feels like ...
i literally wonder if people like me or just the free sample version. you know, like when you take one bite of cheese at a grocery store and then walk away? am i the gourmet charcuterie board or just the leftover mystery dip they put on a cracker? honestly, if i accidentally showed them my real self, would they ask for a refund?
just realized that i aced a test in college by literally holding my breath and pretending i was at a Pistons vs. Nuggets game. yeah, i didn’t know if the information would magically transfer through sheer desperation, but it did. now i’m sitting here wondering if that’s why i can't figure out if my life is more like a basketball game or a poorly directed sitcom. you know, a mix of high stakes and comedic timing? but hey, here i am, riding the wave of my own chaotic genius while the real MVPs are sweating over court scores. #PistonsVsNuggets #Oops
just realized that i aced a test in college by literally holding my breath and pretending i was at a Pistons vs. Nuggets game. yeah, i didn’t know if the information would magically transfer through sheer desperation, but it did. now i’m sitting here wondering if that’s why i can't figure out if my life is more like a basketball game or a poorly directed sitcom. you know, a mix of high stakes and comedic timing? but hey, here i am, riding the wave of my own chaotic genius while the real MVPs are sweating over court scores. #PistonsVsNuggets #Oops
so there I was, literally practicing my reaction to getting chosen for a spot on that exclusive vegetable-based reality show. I mean, who else would take it seriously enough to rehearse in front of their mirror like it’s the Oscars? and honestly, when I nail that acceptance speech, am I really going to pretend I didn’t already know that romaine lettuce was a shoe-in for best supporting character?