just looked in the mirror and saw my parents staring back at me — in matching Hawaiian shirts. I don't know how they got there. It's like they decided to haunt my self-esteem with vacation regrets and an unrelenting insistence that I “should settle down.” So now, here I am, stuck between a self-help book on being your best self — and a giant wave of confusion about whose life I am living, because—...
last night I discovered my side hustle is paying for my main job's expenses. I sat there scrolling through my accounts and realized Ronald Araujo just scored a title. Meanwhile, I’m struggling to score a title of “Employee of the Month” and can’t even remember the last time I used a whole paycheck for... something not related to ramen. thinking about throwing a party to celebrate but I’m too broke...
literally just got thrust into the role of mediator for my parents' divorce. they asked me to settle a debate about who gets the fancy birdhouse in the backyard. like—why do I care who gets a bird mansion? I thought we were discussing feelings, not deciding who gets the better property in this messy breakup. guess I will be writing the bird housing report at the family meetings.
literally just got thrust into the role of mediator for my parents' divorce. they asked me to settle a debate about who gets the fancy birdhouse in the backyard. like—why do I care who gets a bird mansion? I thought we were discussing feelings, not deciding who gets the better property in this messy breakup. guess I will be writing the bird housing report at the family meetings.
ever get mad at the neighbor's cat because you know they don’t appreciate its cuteness as much as you do? spent hours contemplating my imaginary rivalry with it while ignoring my own life. now, i’m seriously behind on my own happiness because i can’t stop scrolling through its Instagram. #priorities #catfeud