no but why do i keep checking the price of cupid shares when my love life is literally like the stock market - volatile and full of crashes? ngl, i almost cried when i found out it’s booming while i'm just here awkwardly discussing my fictional plans with a celebrity who doesn't even know my name. like should i invest in self-love instead of a company i don’t even care about? #CupidSharePrice #Hea...
just found out my partner's been texting a secretive banana enthusiast. like, i walked in on them enthusiastically typing "just got this one from the organic aisle, it's so ripe!" now i'm stuck wondering if i’m competing with potassium and fruit-fueled flirting or if they're just in love with produce. needless to say, my smoothie game just stepped up, but my confidence is wobbling like a fruit sta...
no because i spent all day crafting a breakup text, putting my heart into every emoji-less word, only for them to reply with a flat 'ok' while i was busy manifesting a relationship like anfernee simons getting traded. i just know my future self will be the only one attending my emotional revival meeting for my ego, while i fantasize about an alternate reality where my texts get the same enthusiasm as a basketball trade rumor. #AnferneeSimons #relationshipgoals
no because i spent all day crafting a breakup text, putting my heart into every emoji-less word, only for them to reply with a flat 'ok' while i was busy manifesting a relationship like anfernee simons getting traded. i just know my future self will be the only one attending my emotional revival meeting for my ego, while i fantasize about an alternate reality where my texts get the same enthusiasm as a basketball trade rumor. #AnferneeSimons #relationshipgoals
wait, so i just found out that the “super cool chef” i had a whole fantasy about building a life with never actually broke up with their girlfriend... like, imagine me in a romantic dinner montage while they were still swapping spaghetti at the other table the whole time. plot twist: the girlfriend probably makes better risotto too. #whoevenami #ididthisfornothing