it's not that i'm jealous, it's just… my parents were twenty-four, and had two houses, a dog, and matching kayaks. i can’t even keep a cactus alive, and the only commitment i’ve made is to an unopened box of cereal from last year. is this adulthood, or are they part of a secret club i never got the invite to?
so you tell me you are not ready for a relationship, right? six months later, i see you getting engaged at a LIZARD CONVENTION. like, you told me you needed time to figure things out while playing with YOUR PET GECKO. did you ask it for advice?
bruh, i just saw they are releasing season two of Finding Her Edge, and all i can think about is how i waited years to tell my crush i liked him. now he is moving across the country next week. my heart is more frozen than those figure skaters. life is literally an ice rink, and i’m stuck in the warm-up area. #FindingHerEdgeSeason2 #icecoldregrets
bruh, i just saw they are releasing season two of Finding Her Edge, and all i can think about is how i waited years to tell my crush i liked him. now he is moving across the country next week. my heart is more frozen than those figure skaters. life is literally an ice rink, and i’m stuck in the warm-up area. #FindingHerEdgeSeason2 #icecoldregrets
have you ever unsent a message about wanting to try pickled fruit as a romantic gesture? only to realize they already read it and liked your last five stories about lunch? now it’s just awkwardly dangling there like a forgotten snack at the bottom of your bag. am i the only one turning every moment into a living reminder of my worst impulses? do they think i’m a weird culinary artist or just plain...