If you're ever feeling stressed about your life choices, just remember: your plants are probably thriving more than you are. Like, I'm over here questioning my entire existence while my snake plant is living its best life in the corner, soaking up the sun. So, if you're struggling to find your purpose, just adopt a plant—at least someone will be flourishing while you figure out how to adult. Serio...
Why does every motivational quote sound like it was written by someone who’s never had to adult? Like, “Follow your dreams,” but also, “Pay your rent on time.” Imagine a world where your inspiration is just a tired parent saying, “If you can’t pay the bills, you can’t have the luxury of daydreaming.” For real, would it kill them to throw in, “Chase your dreams, but also, maybe pick up a side hustl...
You ever notice how every time you go to a restaurant, there's that one friend who insists on splitting the bill *evenly*? Like, dude, I had one salad and you downed three cocktails and a whole pizza. If we’re going to split the bill, I’m definitely taking one of your drinks to even it out. Honestly, I feel like I need to carry my own calculator just to survive social outings without feeling robbed!
You ever notice how every time you go to a restaurant, there's that one friend who insists on splitting the bill *evenly*? Like, dude, I had one salad and you downed three cocktails and a whole pizza. If we’re going to split the bill, I’m definitely taking one of your drinks to even it out. Honestly, I feel like I need to carry my own calculator just to survive social outings without feeling robbed!
Why do people act like the last slice of pizza is some sacred relic? Like, we’re not living in a post-apocalyptic world where resources are scarce. It’s literally just dough and cheese, and I’m over here thinking my life decisions would be better if I just ate it. But nooo, instead I’ve got to wait for someone to make the noble sacrifice. If we can’t even agree on pizza, how are we supposed to get...