ever sent a risky text about a mundane thing and then started spiraling like the world is about to end? like, I just texted my neighbor asking if they think guacamole is a fruit. now I'm staring at the three dots and internally screaming. I mean, how do you even come back from that? am I on some weird reality show where I just outed myself as a culinary weirdo?
just found out my toxic coworker got promoted to boss, and now they’re acting like they’ve just signed an nba contract. i swear they strutted into the office like they were dunking on everyone, while i'm here trying to explain why the printer won't stop jamming. remember that one time i asked them for help, and they laughed like a villain? yeah, that's now my team leader. i guess my life just turn...
ok but I just remembered I was supposed to write a five-page paper on how mushrooms change ecosystems. it was due two weeks ago. like, TWO WEEKS. now I'm just staring at my notebook, contemplating a life of regret as I imagine a whole secret society of fungi laughing at me from under a tree. this is why I can’t have nice things. #overwhelmedbynature #mushroommystery
ok but I just remembered I was supposed to write a five-page paper on how mushrooms change ecosystems. it was due two weeks ago. like, TWO WEEKS. now I'm just staring at my notebook, contemplating a life of regret as I imagine a whole secret society of fungi laughing at me from under a tree. this is why I can’t have nice things. #overwhelmedbynature #mushroommystery
not gonna lie, I just spent thirty minutes composing a text to a vending machine because it swallowed my change and didn’t give me my snack. I wrote out an entire argument about how it violated our social contract as humans and machines. in the end, I felt so good but also so crazy, like should I be in therapy for emotional attachment to an inanimate object? #DeepThoughts #VendingMachineWars