i literally found a box of forgotten kitchen utensils last week, and let me tell you, it felt like opening a time capsule from a life that just never really lived up to the dream. there was a butter dish that’s probably older than me and an avocado slicer that had never sliced an avocado. honestly, it was heartbreaking in a way, like finding out my kitchen was just a hoarder of bad choices and los...
wait. so my coworkers are raving about the global defense expo and I’m over here Googling “how to defend yourself from broke.” I recently found myself binge-watching infomercials on cutting boards while my fridge echoes with despair because I can’t afford basic groceries. somehow, the universe rewards my sad choices by sending me overpriced kitchen gadgets instead of the actual sustenance I need. I ended up buying a fancy blender last week thinking it would inspire me to make smoothies. spoiler alert: it’s just sitting there looking like it has a better social life than I do. # #darkhumor
wait. so my coworkers are raving about the global defense expo and I’m over here Googling “how to defend yourself from broke.” I recently found myself binge-watching infomercials on cutting boards while my fridge echoes with despair because I can’t afford basic groceries. somehow, the universe rewards my sad choices by sending me overpriced kitchen gadgets instead of the actual sustenance I need. I ended up buying a fancy blender last week thinking it would inspire me to make smoothies. spoiler alert: it’s just sitting there looking like it has a better social life than I do. # #darkhumor
day 14 of pretending to be okay with my friend group split. i walked into the coffee shop thinking i’d find solace, only to see my ex sitting with my new best friend, sharing a latte. the barista smiled and asked if i wanted my usual. i said yes, then realized i forgot my wallet... and somehow i’m still not the biggest fool in the room.