have you ever found yourself in an argument about life choices over holiday dinner, while holding a corn casserole? yes, me too. so there i was, about to dive into a second serving, when my uncle said "you should probably stop living life like a rom-com" and honestly, it hit me. maybe dedicating three full weekends to recreating my imaginary wedding with a celebrity crush i’ve never met is... exce...
ever accidentally sent your roommate a text complaining about how your neighbor plays the saxophone at two a.m.?—I meant to vent to my best friend about it but nope, there went my late-night rant delivered straight to the culprit’s door. do I just embrace my new status as an informant or should I consider offering to form a jazz duo?
literally just spent twenty bucks on a novelty spatula shaped like a fish. my kitchen looks like a marine aquarium and i can't even afford a single avocado to eat. if my life keeps going like this, my revenge fantasy is me flipping my own pancakes with this absurd thing while trying to manifest a third job… like a breakfast ninja or something.
literally just spent twenty bucks on a novelty spatula shaped like a fish. my kitchen looks like a marine aquarium and i can't even afford a single avocado to eat. if my life keeps going like this, my revenge fantasy is me flipping my own pancakes with this absurd thing while trying to manifest a third job… like a breakfast ninja or something.
no because my neighbor asked to borrow my favorite inflatable flamingo and now I can't stop thinking about it. why am I overanalyzing every interaction? should I prepare a speech about the importance of boundaries? like, what if they decide to make it a permanent guest? I never wanted to share my inner circle of floaties. #inflatabledrama #flamingofiasco