literally told my friend I couldn't go out because I was volunteering for a "crypto awareness campaign," when really I was just staring at my empty bank account like it was an ex who ghosted me. I can see the headline now: “Local Woman Too Broke to Validate Life Choices” #CryptocurrencyRegulationWhatsN #MyLifeIsAMovie
literally practiced how I would react if I found out I won a massive competition that I didn't even enter. so there I was, jumping around my living room, arms in the air—like I was a contestant on a game show—thank you, thank you—now I just need to find the competition. but then I realized I might actually get tackled by the mailman with my luck—why would I assume they would give me good news anyw...
you ever find yourself sending a birthday card to someone who just casually ghosted you two months ago? like, there i am, writing in purple gel pen—an aesthetic choice—about how "the future is bright," and in the back of my mind, i’m remembering the time they forgot my name at a party—awkward moments cataloged like trophies—like why am i doing this? how do i still have an address? this was supposed to be a glow-up but turns out it’s just me, still looking for closure in an unopened card, sealed with more confusion than affection.
you ever find yourself sending a birthday card to someone who just casually ghosted you two months ago? like, there i am, writing in purple gel pen—an aesthetic choice—about how "the future is bright," and in the back of my mind, i’m remembering the time they forgot my name at a party—awkward moments cataloged like trophies—like why am i doing this? how do i still have an address? this was supposed to be a glow-up but turns out it’s just me, still looking for closure in an unopened card, sealed with more confusion than affection.
have you ever accidentally gotten into a full-blown parasocial beef with someone else's fan account over an obscure historical figure? yeah, me neither—until I found myself in an angry thread about who actually invented the taco. I was so fired up, I wrote a three-page rebuttal as if this would change the course of culinary history, only to realize I forgot to hit send—thank goodness, because what...