it's not that... it's just that when my mom asked when i'm having kids again, I almost asked if she meant my collection of garden gnomes that I named and talk to daily. but, you know, it’s *fine*... I’m not *weird* or anything. just waiting for the right partner... for the *gnomes*. #UnexpectedCompanionship #GnomeParenting
just unsent a message to my crush about the premier league standings, but they already saw it and now i cant look them in the eye without feeling like a fraud. it’s like having my family watch me try to cook for the first time, and all they see is a smoke alarm going off. they know i should’ve left the kitchen alone, just like my crush now knows my opinions on football. #PremierLeagueStandings #Cr...
last night, I thought it was a great idea to send my crush a risky text while sipping instant noodles. right as I hit send, I realized I didn’t ask myself if this was smart or if I was channeling sir alex ferguson energy instead of common sense. now I’m just staring at those three dots, replaying my entire life and the 12 times I was “fired” from friendships because I didn’t read the room. just when I thought I could quit overthinking, I can practically hear the Manchester crowd urging for my own emotional support coach. #SirAlexFerguson #LifeChoices
last night, I thought it was a great idea to send my crush a risky text while sipping instant noodles. right as I hit send, I realized I didn’t ask myself if this was smart or if I was channeling sir alex ferguson energy instead of common sense. now I’m just staring at those three dots, replaying my entire life and the 12 times I was “fired” from friendships because I didn’t read the room. just when I thought I could quit overthinking, I can practically hear the Manchester crowd urging for my own emotional support coach. #SirAlexFerguson #LifeChoices
last night, my family brought up my ex again. you know, the one who wore socks with sandals. they keep asking when we will be "happier" again. meanwhile, i had to convince my current partner that my dinner of cereal and a slice of cheese is gourmet. thanks a lot, mom. #Prem #Relatable