just found out that while i was giving someone a SECOND CHANCE, they were plotting a shiny future with my colleague who can barely use ajax for a simple update. my boss took a day off for “self-care” while i sat through a 3-hour meeting about OUR feelings and the synergy we all “need”. i bet the two of them are scrolling through highlights of ajax games together while i’m here composing dark poetr...
last night, i sent a private message to my coworker about my unshakeable belief that ajax is the best team in the league. today, i walked into a team meeting where my message had been forwarded to everyone. now everyone knows i have deeply personal thoughts on a football club. i didn’t realize supporting ajax could lead to this level of professional disgrace. can’t decide if i need to quit or just...
wait, so I just found out they are rolling back the environmental protections. this is the same government that told me I couldn’t plant tulips in my own garden because they might be too beautiful for the local wildlife. last week, I took a photo of my disheveled salad on my desk during my lunch break. now I realize I could be called to court to explain that my tragic lunch choices are indirectly contributing to the apocalypse. #Rma #saladwoes
wait, so I just found out they are rolling back the environmental protections. this is the same government that told me I couldn’t plant tulips in my own garden because they might be too beautiful for the local wildlife. last week, I took a photo of my disheveled salad on my desk during my lunch break. now I realize I could be called to court to explain that my tragic lunch choices are indirectly contributing to the apocalypse. #Rma #saladwoes
not gonna lie, i thought about how great it would be if my coffee maker could just become my life coach like the way people think lindsey halligan could pull off that federal prosecutor vibe. every morning, it brews me hope and caffeination, but it can’t give me a life direction like ‘go get that promotion.’ yesterday, it overflowed, and now i have a puddle of existential dread on my kitchen floor...