last night i was deep in a rabbit hole about retro vacuum cleaners. like, watching hours of YouTube videos on their design. somehow, in a fit of excitement, i liked a video about the “ultimate vintage Hoover collection.” then, immediately panicked because now the algorithm thinks i have a secret passion for dusty appliances. i reassured myself that it’s just for “research.” but let's be real. i mi...
the way that i thought my life was turning around when i found out fort bend isd was hyping up their Defensive Player of the Year poll. literally made me believe i could finally get recognized for my stellar skills in the backyard. so i rehearsed this message to a group of my childhood friends for 47 versions, mentally crafting our epic reunion story, then just sent “ok.” now it feels like i dropp...
the way that i just found out coorg is trending and now i'm questioning all my life choices because my vacation was a month ago, and i didn't even get to try their famous coffee. i'm now painfully aware that while i was dreaming about warm beans, my coworkers were probably sending memes in the group chat that i somehow always miss. might as well get used to this job as my permanent getaway, where my biggest adventure is choosing which corner of the office to cry in. #Coorg #WorkProblems
the way that i just found out coorg is trending and now i'm questioning all my life choices because my vacation was a month ago, and i didn't even get to try their famous coffee. i'm now painfully aware that while i was dreaming about warm beans, my coworkers were probably sending memes in the group chat that i somehow always miss. might as well get used to this job as my permanent getaway, where my biggest adventure is choosing which corner of the office to cry in. #Coorg #WorkProblems
it’s three a.m. and i just spent two hours drafting a heartfelt message to my neighbor who NEVER waters his plants, explaining why they deserve better. he replied with “ok” and now i have literally sent a breakup text to a collection of succulents. #plantparentingfail #overlydramatic