bruh, just found out my private story got screenshotted by the guy from high school who once asked if I had a third eye because I was wearing my sunglasses at night, and now I’m sitting here, questioning if I should turn myself into a meme or just embrace the chaos of it all. why do I keep making questionable life choices?
the way that I just met a stranger in the grocery store, and while we were arguing about the best kind of tomato, he looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I love you." in pure panic, I just said, "thank you." now I'm thinking about planning our wedding in the produce aisle while he probably thinks I am emotionally unavailable. like, how do I backtrack and ask if he meant as a friend or if I should...
just calculated how much i've spent on streaming subscriptions i forgot about. i mean, who needs reality when you can spend money on old seasons of shows no one asked for? i swear i’m one missed payment away from becoming deuce mcbride’s biggest fan, because apparently a subscription is a monthly responsibility and my life isn’t ready for that. #MilesMcbride #lifecrisis
just calculated how much i've spent on streaming subscriptions i forgot about. i mean, who needs reality when you can spend money on old seasons of shows no one asked for? i swear i’m one missed payment away from becoming deuce mcbride’s biggest fan, because apparently a subscription is a monthly responsibility and my life isn’t ready for that. #MilesMcbride #lifecrisis
it's not that i'm upset about my coworker forwarding my private message to the whole team. it’s just that i literally described my dreams of a fictional love life inspired by "nari nari naduma murari" in vivid detail. i mean, who knew that sharing my life goals about getting proposed to at a bustling laundromat would spark an office-wide roast? now, everyone looks at me like i am some kind of unhi...