wait. remember when I turned down that crazy opportunity everyone was raving about? well, now I’m over here, watching that same opportunity blow up into a full-on jackpot. it’s like my own personal lottery—except I didn't buy a ticket, and now I'm just a bystander watching someone else cash in. should I just start throwing my entire life savings at random things, hoping for a miracle? honestly, at...
it's not that I’m scared of mentoring someone. it's just... I barely know how to keep my own life together. so now, I’m expected to share my wisdom like I'm some sort of expert? last week, I accidentally gave a “life tip” based on a meme. turns out, that doesn’t help with existential dread. I think I might have just sent them down a dark path—like, is it too late to call myself their *mentor* or.....
not gonna lie, my mom asked when I’m having kids again and I had to remind her I still can’t keep a houseplant alive. like, literally, it’s been a week and my cactus is looking a little suspect. I think if I had a kid, I’d just end up googling “do you feed babies sunlight or water?” every day.
not gonna lie, my mom asked when I’m having kids again and I had to remind her I still can’t keep a houseplant alive. like, literally, it’s been a week and my cactus is looking a little suspect. I think if I had a kid, I’d just end up googling “do you feed babies sunlight or water?” every day.
not gonna lie, i’ve been wearing the same mismatched socks for three weeks straight. it started as a quirky rebellion against the laundry, and now i’m halfway to believing they're some sort of good luck charm. at this point, my neighbors think i'm some kind of sock-wearing witch and last week a pigeon tried to mate with my foot. i’m not sure whether to wash them or start charging rent.