last night, I scrolled through Instagram, watching another wedding video and thinking “when will my turn come, bhai?” suddenly, I heard my doorbell ring and in my rush to mute the wedding playlist, I accidentally shouted "shaadi ho gayi!" into the empty room. turns out it was just my delivery guy staring at me like I'm the weirdest person he’s ever met. matlab, even he was judging my single status...
it's not that I mind my friend only texting when they need something. it’s just that the last time they reached out, I could practically hear them shopping around for someone to take their dog to the vet. then I get a heartwarming “Hey, how have you been?” right before I accidentally sent them a meme meant for my therapy group. I guess that's what they mean by “miscommunication”—just me, glaring a...
do you ever look at your notes app and think—oh, if anyone read this, I’d be wearing a reputation of a villain? the other day, I typed a whole plan on how to ruin my neighbor’s garden party because they think they’re better than everyone. it was so detailed—planting questionable herbs in their soil, leaving fake notes, you know, classic moves. every time they get too loud, I just think—oh, how delightful it would be to see their summer BBQ turn into a spicy drama no one saw coming.
do you ever look at your notes app and think—oh, if anyone read this, I’d be wearing a reputation of a villain? the other day, I typed a whole plan on how to ruin my neighbor’s garden party because they think they’re better than everyone. it was so detailed—planting questionable herbs in their soil, leaving fake notes, you know, classic moves. every time they get too loud, I just think—oh, how delightful it would be to see their summer BBQ turn into a spicy drama no one saw coming.
it's not that i'm jealous of my coworker getting promoted. it's just that they used to corner me at the copier and laugh at my ideas like they were auditioning for a reality show. now they lead meetings where I sit quietly, praying for a glitch in the system to prove I'm still here, still capable. and every time I have to nod at their stupid motivational quotes, I can’t help but wonder how the wor...