WhisperDog

Rants: it’s 2am and I just googled “how to disappear without a trace.” I mean, with all…

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yooo, I was just thinking about how much I love gardening, right? Like, it's so calming, getting my hands in the dirt, watching things grow. So I’m digging around my backyard, feeling all peaceful. Then my neighbor pops his head over the fence and says, “you know, the last guy who tried this ended up with a hole where his dreams used to be.” So there I was, ready to start my garden, and now I’m qu...

it’s 2am and I just googled “how to disappear without a trace.” I mean, with all this talk about abolishing property taxes, maybe I can start fresh with a new identity. living with the lie of my dream life has its perks, but it’s hard to keep pretending my house is not actually a glorified storage unit filled with regret. I never signed up for this, but honestly, who’s gonna check on the quiet neighbor with no social media? #PropertyTax #NewIdentity

it’s 2am and I just googled “how to disappear without a trace.” I mean, with all this talk about abolishing property taxes, maybe I can start fresh with a new identity. living with the lie of my dream life has its perks, but it’s hard to keep pretending my house is not actually a glorified storage unit filled with regret. I never signed up for this, but honestly, who’s gonna check on the quiet neighbor with no social media? #PropertyTax #NewIdentity

it’s 3am and i’m scrolling through social media, like any normal person does. then i see it, a photo of my ex, smiling in that cheesy way they do, but this time they’re with my friend. everyone knew except me. meanwhile, i’ve been manifesting a promotion at the post office… for a job i don't even want. the twist? my ex might have just snagged my friend and my future employment prospects in the sam...