it's not that I like marshmallows in my cereal... it's just that when I said that out loud in front of my coworker, I literally watched their face change like I revealed the secret to the universe. now they're side-eyeing me every time we eat lunch together, like I’m a cereal pervert or something, and I'm just sitting here wondering if this is how it all ends.
last night, i accidentally sent a voice note meant for my crush to the entire team at work. picture this: i was in my bathroom, mid-compliment about how dreamy their voice is, and then *poof*, there it goes, dropping straight into the group chat like an anvil of shame. now every time my boss checks the apple share price, i can practically hear the laughter from the cubicles. so there i sat, preten...
i’ve been practicing my acceptance speech for the “best home-cooked meal” award, thinking about how my chicken alfredo saved friendships and changed lives. i can picture the crowd in tears, eyes glistening, as i recount the time my pot boiled over and created “spontaneous kitchen art.” then i realize… the award is for my neighbor who burns toast, and somehow, it turns out my alfredo is just dinner, not a legacy.
i’ve been practicing my acceptance speech for the “best home-cooked meal” award, thinking about how my chicken alfredo saved friendships and changed lives. i can picture the crowd in tears, eyes glistening, as i recount the time my pot boiled over and created “spontaneous kitchen art.” then i realize… the award is for my neighbor who burns toast, and somehow, it turns out my alfredo is just dinner, not a legacy.
turns out 30 is not a fun party. i used to think it was like hitting the jackpot of adulthood, but now i feel like i'm trapped in a game where nobody told me the rules. i mean, i just found a gray hair in my sandwich, and i can't decide if that means i'm wise or just living dangerously. #adultingishard #wheredidmyyouthgo