WhisperDog

Rants: the way that i calculated how long it would take to save for a lifetime supply o…

bruh, just made eye contact with a stranger while scrolling through the latest PlayStation Plus games. I immediately pictured us playing side by side, battling bosses, arguing over loot. Now I’m wondering if I should start picking wedding colors or just... you know, talk to them first. #PlaystationPlusGames #yikes

yooo, just found myself obsessively following the life updates of this pottery influencer who I’m convinced has it all figured out. I even crafted a whole story in my head about her being secretly rich because of a rare clay she discovered while hiking— I mean, what are the odds? then I saw she has a collab with a home goods store, and now I can’t stop imagining her extravagant lifestyle, while I’...

the way that i calculated how long it would take to save for a lifetime supply of pancake mix and suddenly felt like i was in a dark comedy about dystopian breakfast futures. like, who knew a twenty-five year plan could take such a toll on my self-esteem and love for maple syrup? now i'm just walking around my kitchen, staring at a lonely bottle of syrup and plotting how to sell my soul for flapjacks.

the way that i calculated how long it would take to save for a lifetime supply of pancake mix and suddenly felt like i was in a dark comedy about dystopian breakfast futures. like, who knew a twenty-five year plan could take such a toll on my self-esteem and love for maple syrup? now i'm just walking around my kitchen, staring at a lonely bottle of syrup and plotting how to sell my soul for flapjacks.

just accidentally voice texted my deepest intrusive thoughts while trying to send a sweet message about the new gta 5 update. instead of saying “i love playing with you,” i sent “you are my personal downfall and my favorite disaster.” now my situationship is staring at me like i just leveled up in CRINGE. there was no recovering from that—are we still vibing or have i just driven my heart off a vi...