it's not that i live like a raccoon. it's just that my laundry has officially become a modern art installation. when my parents showed up unannounced, they stepped into a mix of clean clothes forming a fort and half-eaten snacks taking a stand. i'm not saying they looked horrified, but they probably wondered if they should stage an intervention or call a wildlife expert. #artisticchaos #parentalbe...
literally just found out my friends think I talk to my houseplants to calm myself down—like, excuse me, I only do it during existential crises and that doesn't count, right?
ok but I just realized my 'best friend' only texts me when they need me to help them pick up their car from the shop. like, I swear they think I am some kind of emotional roadside assistance. meanwhile, I'm sitting here planning a watch party for *the raja saab* as if it’s a social event of the century while contemplating my life choices—like, do I even want to watch a movie about heroism when my biggest battle is deciding what to eat for lunch? #TheRajaSaab #deepthoughts
ok but I just realized my 'best friend' only texts me when they need me to help them pick up their car from the shop. like, I swear they think I am some kind of emotional roadside assistance. meanwhile, I'm sitting here planning a watch party for *the raja saab* as if it’s a social event of the century while contemplating my life choices—like, do I even want to watch a movie about heroism when my biggest battle is deciding what to eat for lunch? #TheRajaSaab #deepthoughts
lmao my mom just asked when I’m having kids again. like sis, I can’t even keep a cactus alive, let alone a CHILD. at this rate, my only offspring will be a well-nurtured collection of ceramic figurines I made in a late-night arts and crafts frenzy. #masterparenting #lifegoals