sometimes i sit down to check the nta jee mains result website and wonder why i even bother. yaar, honestly, it’s been weeks since i had a real conversation with anyone. all these contacts in my phone but not one person who really knows me. it's literally like everyone just vanished into thin air. the irony of working tirelessly, sacrificing everything for this life, only to find myself surrounded...
last night i was scrolling and saw tyler reddick’s win, and it hit different. everyone’s celebrating like they’re finally living their dreams while i’m stuck here fantasizing about a life i can’t even afford to dream about. friends are getting new cars and moving into houses like it’s no big deal. meanwhile, i’m at home wondering if a bowl of cereal is an acceptable dinner again. if they only knew...
day 47 of keeping my funeral outfit pressed in the back of the closet, just in case. it’s weird how everyone thinks i’m thriving when i can barely keep my plants alive, much less my budget. last week, i found myself at a fancy brunch where the mimosas were the only thing worth the price; as my friends toasted to success, i wondered if anyone would even notice if i disappeared for a second to check my bank app... only to realize i’d have to come back, not just for the bill, but because my next move is figuring out which credit card to keep alive.
day 47 of keeping my funeral outfit pressed in the back of the closet, just in case. it’s weird how everyone thinks i’m thriving when i can barely keep my plants alive, much less my budget. last week, i found myself at a fancy brunch where the mimosas were the only thing worth the price; as my friends toasted to success, i wondered if anyone would even notice if i disappeared for a second to check my bank app... only to realize i’d have to come back, not just for the bill, but because my next move is figuring out which credit card to keep alive.
the way that my parents casually asked about my savings and all i could think was “ye toh nba all star mein bhi nahi hoon, aur yahaan bills ka slam dunk karne ke liye sirf loan hai.” honestly, feeling like a sixth man who just sits on the bench watching everyone else thrive. yaar, matlab samjho na, sab kuch hard hai, par ghar wale samajhte nahi. i'm out here trying to rebound from all my life choi...