WhisperDog

Rants: i told everyone i'm a vegan because of my ethical beliefs. in reality, i just th…

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i told everyone i'm a vegan because of my ethical beliefs. in reality, i just thought the label made me sound cooler. fast forward three years, and now i’m a self-proclaimed plant-based lifestyle guru who can’t remember the last time i actually passed a vegetable without dodging it like a video game obstacle. guess who’s also been considering launching a podcast called “tofu tales”? the irony is not lost on me, but i keep forgetting how to cook anything without googling a recipe that involves ingredients i can’t even pronounce.

i told everyone i'm a vegan because of my ethical beliefs. in reality, i just thought the label made me sound cooler. fast forward three years, and now i’m a self-proclaimed plant-based lifestyle guru who can’t remember the last time i actually passed a vegetable without dodging it like a video game obstacle. guess who’s also been considering launching a podcast called “tofu tales”? the irony is not lost on me, but i keep forgetting how to cook anything without googling a recipe that involves ingredients i can’t even pronounce.

it's not that i'm upset about the new hire making more than me. it's just that i trained them. while they were still learning the job, i was daydreaming about what kind of sandwich i’d want during lunch. now, every time the red wings play, i can't help but think that ben chiarot just secured a three-year deal, while my own career feels like a fleeting benchwarmer. i wonder if they would trade my p...