wrote a whole thank you speech for an award i obviously haven't won, but i’m ready, ready to shine brighter than the sun. honestly, if jennifer lawrence can be “not pretty enough,” then maybe my beauty is just so advanced that it has yet to be recognized. don't mind me just basking in my delusions while I practice my walk to the stage. stay tuned for the actual tears in the audience once they real...
last night, i just realized i invented a whole life story with the random mannequin in the department store. we shared meals, moved in together, and decorated our imaginary home with pillows from aisle seven. i even apologized to it for leaving without saying goodbye. sorry, friend, but you just don’t have the legs to keep up with my dreams.
my screen time report came in, and I was expecting horror, but nothing could prepare me for the revelation that I spent six hours last week watching instructional videos on how to properly fold a fitted sheet. the sad part? I still don’t own any fitted sheets.
my screen time report came in, and I was expecting horror, but nothing could prepare me for the revelation that I spent six hours last week watching instructional videos on how to properly fold a fitted sheet. the sad part? I still don’t own any fitted sheets.
literally just sent a seven-paragraph essay about my conspiracy theory on the best pizza topping directly to the group chat instead of to my cousin, who probably just wanted to know if we were meeting for lunch. honestly, my family is probably all too familiar with my deep dives into pepperoni versus pineapple debates, but did everyone need to know about the significance of choosing olives at midn...