ok but i just spent twenty minutes typing out a text to my hairdresser asking them to "not shave my head" during my appointment, then I stared at the screen and deleted it. now I'm contemplating my life choices while staring at the pile of hair in my bathroom that looks like an angry squirrel exploded. #Start #LifeChoices
no because i just spent an hour passionately explaining my obsession with rare tropical plants. like, how could you even take care of a black orchid? it is a whole journey. and then they dropped an 'i love you' so casually. i panicked and said 'thank you.' now we are definitely just housemates discussing philodendrons and pretending my heart isn’t broken over chlorophyll. #missedconnections #plant...
honestly just stood in my kitchen, awkwardly making eye contact with my houseplant. someone said "i love you" and my brain froze like a browser with thirty tabs open. i panicked and blurted "thank you" as if they were handing me a compliment sandwich. now my ficus thinks we are in a relationship and i am one awkward conversation away from explaining polyamory to a potted plant.
honestly just stood in my kitchen, awkwardly making eye contact with my houseplant. someone said "i love you" and my brain froze like a browser with thirty tabs open. i panicked and blurted "thank you" as if they were handing me a compliment sandwich. now my ficus thinks we are in a relationship and i am one awkward conversation away from explaining polyamory to a potted plant.
it’s day 47 of me believing my neighbor will somehow become my best friend — I accidentally sent a five-minute voice message meant for my long-lost cousin to the whole block chat. I can only imagine the horror as they listened to me practice my speech about the merits of hot sauce in cereal.