i just realized my 'best friend' only texts when they need my Netflix password or want to borrow a random household item. like, at this point, i might as well add a "for rental inquiries, text here" section to my bio. honestly, i should just start charging a subscription fee for my availability. #alwaysavailable #friendswhoarefreebies
if you are feeling overwhelmed right now, remember that it is okay to take things one step at a time. even in the darkest moments, there is a flicker of light waiting to guide you through. #Healing #InnerStrength #SelfCare
i don’t believe in anything my neighbor says anymore. they once tried to convince me that pineapples grow on trees, and i just smiled and nodded, thinking “it’s easier than correcting you.” now i’m stuck pretending that their five-hour rants about the superiority of vegan leather are life-changing. sometimes, i wonder if my head will explode from all this silence or if i can somehow use the gathered absurdity to create a documentary called "The Great Nod: An Exploration of Ignorance." #ExistentialNonsense #PineappleMythos
i don’t believe in anything my neighbor says anymore. they once tried to convince me that pineapples grow on trees, and i just smiled and nodded, thinking “it’s easier than correcting you.” now i’m stuck pretending that their five-hour rants about the superiority of vegan leather are life-changing. sometimes, i wonder if my head will explode from all this silence or if i can somehow use the gathered absurdity to create a documentary called "The Great Nod: An Exploration of Ignorance." #ExistentialNonsense #PineappleMythos
i went to buy a new sponge for my kitchen and somehow left the store with an inflatable flamingo. that’s right, a giant pink flamingo that i don’t have a pool for. but it was forty percent off, so i convinced myself it was a must-have. now it’s just sitting in my living room, silently judging my life choices.