Why is it that the more I try to eat healthy, the more I suddenly crave a cheeseburger like it's my last meal? It's like my taste buds have a wicked sense of humor. And don’t even get me started on the gym—every time I step in, I feel like I’m signing a pact with the universe to be sore for a week. Can someone explain why "health" has to be such a cruel joke?
I just found out that my five-year-old niece thinks I’m a “professional dog petter” because I’ve spent most of our family gatherings sitting on the floor, surrounded by her friends and their dogs, while the adults discuss boring adult stuff. Meanwhile, I’m over here pretending to be a dog whisperer, giving my best puppy voice like it’s a legit career path. Now I’m torn between living this lie or o...
I swear, public transport is the ultimate test of patience. The other day, I got squished between a smelly guy eating a double-decker vada pav and a woman loudly arguing with her mom on the phone about why she’ll never marry a guy who “drinks chai without sugar.” Like, can we just agree that the real villain here is the guy who thinks a sardine can is a proper mode of transportation? And don’t even get me started on the random seat hoggers—seriously, it’s a two-seater, not your personal throne! I need to start carrying a sign that says, “This isn’t an audition for the world’s most uncomfortable game show.”
I swear, public transport is the ultimate test of patience. The other day, I got squished between a smelly guy eating a double-decker vada pav and a woman loudly arguing with her mom on the phone about why she’ll never marry a guy who “drinks chai without sugar.” Like, can we just agree that the real villain here is the guy who thinks a sardine can is a proper mode of transportation? And don’t even get me started on the random seat hoggers—seriously, it’s a two-seater, not your personal throne! I need to start carrying a sign that says, “This isn’t an audition for the world’s most uncomfortable game show.”
Why is it that every time I finally decide to cook something healthy at home, I end up spending half my budget on fancy ingredients I can’t even pronounce? Like, who knew quinoa would require more research than my college major? And then, of course, I burn it because I was too busy Googling "best way to cook kale." I swear, my kitchen is basically a wellness retreat for all my grocery money. At th...