i passed up an invite to a last-minute gala, thinking, “what could be worse than an awkward small talk disaster?" then i found out the entire event was a fundraiser for the kennedy center and now everyone’s making big moves in the art world while i'm over here trying to convince myself the three-day-old pizza in my fridge is a fine dining experience. just my luck, right? #KennedyCenter #missedoppo...
wait, so I literally stayed in this situation where I have to hide my obsession with collecting obscure spoons because, honestly, the one person who knows won’t stop judging my ‘quirky hobby’—but here’s the kicker: my biggest fear is they will find my “top ten reasons spoons are superior to forks” essay, and it will ruin my social life forever, because apparently, that’s way less normal than the t...
ok but I keep my plants at a distance because every single one has died after getting too close to me—like, do they know I only water them with my tears? it’s a whole thing—so now my succulents are in the corner, just side-eyeing me like, “are you sure you want to commit?” and I’m like, “guys, don’t take it personally, it’s not you—” and then suddenly I see my neighbor coming over to check on the weird vibe in my yard and I think, oh no, not another one...
ok but I keep my plants at a distance because every single one has died after getting too close to me—like, do they know I only water them with my tears? it’s a whole thing—so now my succulents are in the corner, just side-eyeing me like, “are you sure you want to commit?” and I’m like, “guys, don’t take it personally, it’s not you—” and then suddenly I see my neighbor coming over to check on the weird vibe in my yard and I think, oh no, not another one...
i found out my friend group is all about double dates—saw Joey King and Logan Lerman walking their dogs together like some romance movie moment. meanwhile, i’m stuck sitting alone at home with my half-eaten bag of chips and my own awkward company—me, in my pajamas, wondering where the betrayal even started. why do they get to have cute dog walks while i'm scrolling through sad memes on my phone? #...