so, honestly, i quit my stable job to pursue my dream of making artisanal jams, thinking i would literally be living my best life, right? but here i am, staring at a jar of failed lavender-peach concoction, contemplating my life choices, wishing someone would just pay me in reliable health insurance instead. guess the only thing that’s really spreading here is my anxiety. #PassionVsPracticality #J...
last night, i realized that for years, i’ve been keeping the world's most underwhelming secret: my neighbor's garden gnome is a family heirloom and not some tacky lawn ornament. they actually named it Sir Harold of Gnomington, and whenever i walk by, i practice my acceptance speech for “Best Silent Collaborator of the Year” because deep down, i am an enabler of both bad taste and family legacies. ...
it's not that i lie for fun—it's just that i caught myself saying i know all about the Sporting Clube de Portugal, when really i thought that was the name of a fancy restaurant. so now i'm here pretending i understand football strategy, while internally panicking about how to look interested during the game. it’s all fun and games until someone asks me about "that one play," and the only play i’ve been focusing on is ordering the correct appetizer for dinner last week—should've gone with the brussels sprouts. #SportingClubeDePortugal #LifeIsAComedy
it's not that i lie for fun—it's just that i caught myself saying i know all about the Sporting Clube de Portugal, when really i thought that was the name of a fancy restaurant. so now i'm here pretending i understand football strategy, while internally panicking about how to look interested during the game. it’s all fun and games until someone asks me about "that one play," and the only play i’ve been focusing on is ordering the correct appetizer for dinner last week—should've gone with the brussels sprouts. #SportingClubeDePortugal #LifeIsAComedy
not gonna lie, i just spent two hours planning my dream wedding after making awkward eye contact with a stranger. now i’m here, contemplating how many Brandon Sanderson-themed centerpieces would fit at the reception, while my friends think i’m preparing for a fantasy dinner party. should i actually invite him, or just throw in a stormlight arch and call it a day? #BrandonSanderson #DeluluDreams