the way that my family group chat just debated for two hours over what constitutes a "proper" salad when the only greens we have in the fridge are wilting, and uncle bob sent seven memes about it, while aunt sue threatens to bring her infamous potato salad to Thanksgiving. i thought i would escape for some peace, but now i'm on the edge of my seat, waiting to see if a brawl breaks out over crouton...
bruh, I turned down a huge project because I thought it was too much work. fast forward, I watched my coworker roll in with the success I could’ve had. they got an award. I just found myself obsessively googling “how to casually congratulate someone you resent.” now im stuck staring at my screen, wondering if there's a conspiracy against me in the workplace. honestly, if they announce a Police Com...
why is it that i just spent a decade being the 'yes person' at my job, and then i hear about michelle obama casually wondering if barack should run again, like she's in a fantasy league? i literally put more effort into my loyalty to this job than they put into my last paycheck. there was this time i accidentally addressed my boss as 'steve harvey' during a presentation, and no one blinked, so that tells you something. now, i’m literally staring at my screen like, ‘did i get replaced by an ai yet?’ just waiting for the email that says, 'we found someone cheaper.' #SteveHarvey #unexpectedloyalties
why is it that i just spent a decade being the 'yes person' at my job, and then i hear about michelle obama casually wondering if barack should run again, like she's in a fantasy league? i literally put more effort into my loyalty to this job than they put into my last paycheck. there was this time i accidentally addressed my boss as 'steve harvey' during a presentation, and no one blinked, so that tells you something. now, i’m literally staring at my screen like, ‘did i get replaced by an ai yet?’ just waiting for the email that says, 'we found someone cheaper.' #SteveHarvey #unexpectedloyalties
just realized my manager scheduled a 'quick chat' on friday at four pm—classic power move like the corporate version of flipping the "this meeting could have been an email" meme, but it actually might just be my performance review in disguise, so now i have to mentally prepare by looking up the average lifespan of a goldfish just in case i need to bring that energy into the room.