i was checking the pantry for snacks at 2am and found my roommate’s secret stash of spaghetti sauce that they insisted was expired, but there were TWO jars with the same expiration date in different handwriting. one was clearly a cover-up for “not enough sauce” and now i'm pretty sure they’re running a side business in contraband marinara.
so last night i found out my ex was dating my friend. literally EVERYONE knew except me, and i mean i just asked her about guys last week. now i’m literally just sitting here staring at my potted plant which has had more love than me lately, while they both decide to tag me in vacation pics like they’re on a honeymoon or something. honestly, can you break up with someone just because they have bad...
my best friend just sent me the news about tom curran scoring a hundred and it hit me like that time i found out my boyfriend was still texting his ex, because if he could hit a century while I'm here striking out at adulting and can't even figure out my taxes let alone a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person who doesn't even have a normal bedtime, like is there a league for failures like me or are we all just faking it together? #TomCurran #RelatableMisery
my best friend just sent me the news about tom curran scoring a hundred and it hit me like that time i found out my boyfriend was still texting his ex, because if he could hit a century while I'm here striking out at adulting and can't even figure out my taxes let alone a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person who doesn't even have a normal bedtime, like is there a league for failures like me or are we all just faking it together? #TomCurran #RelatableMisery
last night i suddenly remembered that time i tried to learn glassblowing because i thought it’d be "cool"—spoiler: it was literally just me standing there, sweat dripping, trying not to burn my eyebrows off while the instructor looked at me like i was possessed. somehow, i ended up melting the whole setup into a blob that vaguely resembled a penguin—impressive if you're an abstract artist. and now...