the way that karim benzema feels ‘disrespected’ by a lowball offer is how I felt when my boss handed me a new project...after they laid off half the team. so there I was, staring at this giant to-do list that could practically be a best-selling novel, wondering if I should start making playlists titled “work drama” for my coworkers. like, do they really expect me to do the work of five people and ...
no because I just found out the qualifying marks were reduced and suddenly my office feels like a reality show—everyone cheering and strategizing how to snag an interview, while I sit here wondering how I’m supposed to compete against an old fruit fly I’ve named Gerald who just took the test three times. I overheard Karen saying she might just put Gerald's name down as a reference—so basically my ...
yooo, I literally wrote an entire acceptance speech for an award I definitely haven’t won. like, I’m in the mirror practicing— "I’d like to thank my family for believing in me” while my brother is screaming in the background about his video game score. It’s so chaotic. And now I see Chappell Roan is on stage, like great, there goes my moment, which is fine... because who’s even gonna notice when my family can’t stop arguing about who borrowed whose clothes? Life’s wild like that. #ChappellRoan #Drama
yooo, I literally wrote an entire acceptance speech for an award I definitely haven’t won. like, I’m in the mirror practicing— "I’d like to thank my family for believing in me” while my brother is screaming in the background about his video game score. It’s so chaotic. And now I see Chappell Roan is on stage, like great, there goes my moment, which is fine... because who’s even gonna notice when my family can’t stop arguing about who borrowed whose clothes? Life’s wild like that. #ChappellRoan #Drama
so there i was, at the local junkyard, scavenging for spare parts for my twenty-year-old car. out of nowhere, i see my old childhood friend, waving like we just starred in a cheesy reunion movie. except instead of coming over, he picks up an old tire and pretends to be super interested in it. like, dude, is that tire gonna magically fix the fifteen years of pretending we never knew each other? it’...