yooo, just heard Chris Pratt got called out for being an a--hole on the set of “Moneyball,” and I realized my whole life feels like one big audition where I keep forgetting my lines... so, here I am in my living room, practicing my dramatic exit speech for a relationship that doesn’t exist. like, if my crush doesn’t notice me after six months of creating entirely too many scenarios in my head, am ...
i tried following the "trust the process" mantra when I decided to teach my fish how to play fetch. i mean, everyone said it would be rewarding—like becoming a fish whisperer or something. three months later, the fish is still just staring at me like I’m some sort of lunatic. now, the process just feels like I’m an aspiring pet trainer who's definitely made my living room the stage for a very nich...
yooo, so my coworker who used to make fun of my tie-dye shirts just got promoted to boss. like, am I expected to suddenly call them "sir" or something? now every time they walk by, I half expect them to start handing out participation trophies instead of actual feedback. bruh, at this rate, I’m just waiting for the company-wide “who wore it better” competition where my fashion gets judged by the very person who once claimed I looked like a walking peace sign.
yooo, so my coworker who used to make fun of my tie-dye shirts just got promoted to boss. like, am I expected to suddenly call them "sir" or something? now every time they walk by, I half expect them to start handing out participation trophies instead of actual feedback. bruh, at this rate, I’m just waiting for the company-wide “who wore it better” competition where my fashion gets judged by the very person who once claimed I looked like a walking peace sign.
it's not that i'm upset about the draft news—it's just... every time someone gets picked, i think back to my own glory days of trying to shoot hoops. there i was, practicing alone, dreaming big like those stars—until one day my mom walks in with the "i'm not mad, just disappointed" line because i couldn't make a single shot. i still keep a basketball in my trunk—hoping that if i manifest hard enou...