just realized my boss said “we’re like family here” right before telling us about no raises. kinda funny, because I just finished writing a tell-all novel in my head about all their embarrassing family vacations I accidentally discovered. hope they love plot twists. #Pmjay #awkwardsecrets
I used to think adults were tired from working too much, but now I get it. They’re exhausted from worrying about all those strangers at the grocery store that they’ve never spoken to. I found myself legitimately drafting a letter to the guy in the pasta aisle who looked like he was judging my choice of elbow macaroni. I could feel the weight of our imaginary rivalry weighing me down, and suddenly,...
not gonna lie, i spent the last twenty minutes picturing my perfect comeback in that argument about the missing cheese grater, like literally plotting revenge as if it were a heist movie, but instead of robbing a bank, i just wanted to retrieve my dignity while holding a replica of a cheese grater in my hand.
not gonna lie, i spent the last twenty minutes picturing my perfect comeback in that argument about the missing cheese grater, like literally plotting revenge as if it were a heist movie, but instead of robbing a bank, i just wanted to retrieve my dignity while holding a replica of a cheese grater in my hand.
i just remembered i was supposed to bring a dessert to this work event two weeks ago, and now i feel like i literally need to come out as a baking failure in the same way aj ogilvy just came out. the betrayal of my inner baker haunts me like the unopened box of brownies at the back of my pantry. now my colleagues will think i just bought a tub of ice cream and hoped no one would notice. #AjOgilvy ...