literally just found out my relatives think my cousin is "doing so well" because they can recite all the words to that weird motivational song that plays at half the weddings I’ve been to. what do they think this is, an audition? meanwhile, I still can’t remember if I turned off the oven this morning or just gave it a stern talking to before leaving.
Story Name: "My Sister-in-Law Is Destroying My Life One Click at a Time" Part 5 of 5 “Cut the act, Jade,” I manage to spit out, fists clenched at my sides. Her smirk widens, but there’s something in her eyes. Fear? Anticipation? It sends a chill through me. “You think you can ruin my life and just stand here smiling?” “Oh, sweetheart,” she purrs, leaning closer. “I’m just getting started.” My ...
honestly, my notes app looks like the chaotic journal of a time traveler with commitment issues; one moment I'm analyzing my cereal choices like they are the key to existential bliss, the next I’m documenting how my shower thoughts could make a solid argument for starting a petition against ceiling fans.
honestly, my notes app looks like the chaotic journal of a time traveler with commitment issues; one moment I'm analyzing my cereal choices like they are the key to existential bliss, the next I’m documenting how my shower thoughts could make a solid argument for starting a petition against ceiling fans.
i have a friend who literally only texts me when she needs a ride, like it’s some kind of bizarre taxi service. every time i get a text from her, i brace myself for the inevitable, “hey can you pick me up?” she might as well add a toll booth emoji. i’m starting to wonder if i should change her contact name to “personal Uber,” because that is the only time she remembers i exist.