just sent a risky text to my crush about how we should totally go bowling. now i’m staring at those three dots like they hold the secrets of the universe. what if they’re just typing “why are you like this?” or worse, what if they’re consulting a psychic to decide if i’m worth the risk? suddenly bowling feels like asking them to marry me and i can’t stop imagining our hypothetical children arguing...
it's not that my spotify wrapped is a reflection of my personality. it's just that somehow, it revealed i have an unhealthy obsession with sad indie music while romanticizing imaginary vacations that never happened. who knew “People We Meet on Vacation” would turn my entire emotional range into an unflattering playlist? now i’m over here crying over a fictional relationship, wondering why i cannot...
wait, so I literally just sent a screenshot of my fantasy football league chat to the one guy I told I was thinking about quitting, right? like, who needs to play it cool when you can have a full emotional meltdown in digital form, am I right? now he knows I literally asked my friends if I should keep "playing with a bunch of nerds" like that’s going to make me more appealing. honestly, do I need to start crafting an apology email or just own the chaos?
wait, so I literally just sent a screenshot of my fantasy football league chat to the one guy I told I was thinking about quitting, right? like, who needs to play it cool when you can have a full emotional meltdown in digital form, am I right? now he knows I literally asked my friends if I should keep "playing with a bunch of nerds" like that’s going to make me more appealing. honestly, do I need to start crafting an apology email or just own the chaos?
it's not that i regret turning down that opportunity. it's just that as i watched someone else thrive, i couldn’t help but imagine their success being celebrated with a fancy cake. meanwhile, i'm over here contemplating a frozen burrito for dinner. they get to dance to “Fancy” while i’m in my pajamas practicing my acceptance speech to an audience of houseplants. still not over the fact that they d...